Short Stories By Family Members

Mum was only at Te Hopai for a short while.

She had been admitted to Wellington Hospital with badly ulcerated and blistered legs and needed recuperation when discharged. Her dementia condition meant that she was not always a co-operative patient and so we relied on the staff at Te Hopai to manage her physical and mental condition - encouraging her to eat, to take medication and to have her leg wounds managed. 

The staff were incredible. With upmost care and compassion they worked with Mum to dress her legs every 2 days, taking time to allow her to deal with the pain and distress. The Te Hopai wound specialist worked with her daily to help her legs start to heal. 

With her physical needs taken care of, Mum's mental condition improved for the family. Although in the middle of a Covid lockdown, we were able to telephone her and Skype every day. Each of us reported being able to talk better with her and for Dad especially this meant reconnecting as a loving husband, rather than a carer/custodian at home.

Unfortunately after a month Mums condition deteriorated and she passed away. With Covid level restrictions relaxed the family were able to be with her until the end. We felt embraced and supported by all the amazing Te Hopai staff. In our sadness is also comfort that Mum passed away peacefully. Thank you for all your efforts.

Thank you for caring for our mama and being family through the love and dignity you have shown to her over the years.

We acknowledge the heavy yet deeply loving care you gave her over all the times when she was unwell. We also acknowledge the good times when she sang and laughed and celebrated life, whilst her uniqueness, spirit and culture were celebrated and treasured.

My late father, Barry, suffered a debilitating stroke in late 2015 from which he never recovered. After a brief period of hospitalisation in Wellington and Kenepuru he was admitted to Te Hopai Hospital where he remained for over five years before his death on 30 December 2020.

Obviously, this was not a good time for my father, and frankly, I was happy for him when he died. However, it could have certainly been a much more unpleasant time. I attribute the fact that the last five years of my father’s life were at least tolerable for him entirely to the care he received at Te Hopai.

I am writing to you to record the huge debt of gratitude that I, and my father’s entire family, feel towards the hospital and more particularly to the staff. From the Principal Nurse Manager, Ms Jill Kerridge, down, your staff exhibited nothing but the most professional and caring approach. In my view, my father received consistently outstanding care which made his final years more bearable for him than they otherwise have been.

In short, I cannot speak too highly of the way in which the hospital is managed and the staff care for patients.

You can take it from me that my father was well aware of the outstanding level of care her received, and very appreciative of it, even if he may not have expressed that appreciation himself.

Letter to Te Hopai Managers & Staff

Hello to you all,

You will probably know by now that Arety passed away on Saturday morning. Very peacefully.

We do hope you can share this message with all the Carers and Nurses and Staff that made her time at Te Hopai, and our time with her, the absolute best it could have been.

Mum arrived at Te Hopai in April 2019. It was hard for her to be at the home at first - she had just lost Dad, and then her leg only a month or so later. She had a terrible infection when she arrived but she, thanks to your care and her stubbornness, got through what Dr Pickett called 'the worst infection he's seen 20 years'. And during 2020, amidst the strange times of lockdown, she would often say to me during our skypes "I do quite like it here".

Tracey and I are so very grateful to so many of you. 

We feel privileged that we got to meet many of you and frequently see mum with Danielle, Stephanie, Lynn, Tash, Raewyn on skype, and in person. I never got the name of 'my young man who takes care of me who has the accent' but he was a very important part of mum's day, as you all were. And we know there were many others who we never met, but who mum had a laugh with.

Whenever John or Lin (please forgive if I have your name wrong, you are the  lovely nurse who gave mum the fentanyl pump on her last day) or Diane gave her meds we loved how you were able to joke with her and always get her what she needed.

Amanda - we've written to you separately, but you were such a great and perfect creative outlet for Mum. She really enjoyed her time and projects with you.

And thank you to Dr Pickett and the other medical professionals. And especially thank you for the students mum 'worked' with in the last month or so - she was absolutely in her element with young people and with students. She truly loved that experience.

We want to thank you for so much:

Thank you for painting her nails. 

Thank you to the carers who put lipstick on mum.

Thank you for coordinating the transfers to the hospital for appointments, for the personal cares.

Thank you for the 'Op Shop' that mum, we think, must have been it's very best customer.

Thank you for encouraging her, and putting her in her wheelchair. That independence she had was wonderful. 

In the last weeks, thank you all so much for holding mum's hand and stroking her face.

Thank you so much to those who sprayed mum's perfume in her room so that it smelled like her in those last days.

Thank you for her magnificent view of that gorgeous flower filled garden - and thank you to the gardener who made it so lovely and lush.

Thank you so much to Delanie (and on occasion Michael) for arranging the weekly skypes. In the last week that she was able to skype freely I'm quite glad there was a car park over parking drama and we started late, because I got to 'have lunch' with her, and see her light up when Danielle came in the room. She lit up when any carer came in the room really and that was so lovely to witness.

Thank you for the beautiful way she was in her room when she passed - so well dressed, and hair brushed and those beautiful flowers on her chest.

We are going to make it that any donations in lieu of flowers (although mum did like a flower or two) will go to the Home. We will also be sure to make a donation direct to you that we hope that Mum's carers and nurses and Amanda can enjoy directly for Christmas. We can tell you now, if Mum was just moving on to another location the amount of chocolates and biscuits and treats she would have bought for you to thank you would be plentiful, so we won't risk her wrath from afar by not keeping up that tradition in some way.

We are grateful we found a place for Mum in Te Hopai when we really needed to find somewhere and we were so stressed. The room and view was lovely, the care was perfect, and we hope the new person in Room 29 gets to experience the same loving and professional care we saw Mum receive in her time there.

Thank you all so much.

Mel and Tracey 

Thank you all for your hard work!!!  It was a very hard time for the last two months (during Covid-19 lockdown), but your workers - experienced nurses, helpers, youngs - worked very well!

This is a donation in memory of Lynn Chambers with a message of special thanks to Te Hopai staff.

I visited Lynn a number of times over past months and was impressed with how attentive staff were, their patience, and the high level of care provided.

Dear Pakize

Thank you for your latest (Covid-19) update and warnings.

I recently sent some books and food to my father in another resthome. I shall refrain from doing so again.

I really see Te Hopai being at the leading edge of residential eldercare and so much appreciate how you approach this mahi.

With deep respect.

Tom White

Power of Attorney for Te Hopai Resident

Special thanks to the staff at Te Hopai who have travelled this very personal dementia journey with us and provided Kenny with the most outstanding and compassionate care possible. We thank you and you will always be in our hearts.

My friend passed away with you recently, and I bought her overseas based family to Te Hopai to see where she had been.

From my visits over the last two years, I have always thought Te Hopai an exceptional place. Well on this visit, you surpassed yourselves. I explained at Reception that I was just wanting to show my friends around and, perhaps look in the room Mal was in if it was empty. The Receptionist remembered Mal and yes, of course, we could look around. She even arranged for two staff ( I don't have their names) to talk to us. Those two people had been in daily contact with Mal and one had been with her when she died. They were incredible in the way they talked so positively about Mal and never wavered when we asked the most detailed questions as we stood at the door of the vacant room. The fact they remembered her at all let alone the various people in her long life was truly remarkable, given the number of patients you care for and Mal’s difficulty with speech.

We were all deeply affected by the visit and your compassion and responses.

It is the nature of the work you do, that your patients will often pass through leaving you wondering about their lives and the impact you have had on them their families and friends. I did not want that to happen in this case. I will forever be grateful to you all, particularly those we spoke to on Tuesday. Perhaps that is better expressed in my inadequate Maori.

Mauruuru Whakawhetai!

The staff were amazing, doing a difficult job. The level of care was all we could have hoped for.

Thank you Lillian and your amazing staff for taking such loving care of Sylvia Pierson.

Heartfelt thanks for ensuring she is so well cared for and loved... Your quality of care is outstanding and we appreciate you all so much...

Sylvia would give you all a beautiful thank you and happy smile if she could so we will say it for her.

(To Jill)

From myself and all our family I just wanted to say a massive thank you to you and all your wonderful staff for the awesome care you took of Dad.

As a family we really appreciated on a daily basis when leaving the home when he was well, how relieved and happy it felt that he was in your care.

As you would have heard before it was hard for us kids that we couldn’t look after Dad at home, but your home was the next best thing. We all know he moaned and groaned at times but he truly was happy and I’m sure he felt safe there.

At the end for Dad, another huge thank you as you were also looking after us as well and that is so appreciated. Can't thank you enough for letting us stay nights and be close to him. You and your staff went beyond the call of duty and it made a huge difference to us all. Thanks once again.

My mother Noemi has been a resident of Te Hopai Rest Home and Hospital for over two years now and I would like to express my gratitude to all the staff for the fantastic care they provide to not only mum (Noemi) but to us as a family. The staff always make us feel welcome at any time of day. They also say hello and stop for quick chat. They are very accommodating to our needs. From allowing us to host a lovely 90th birthday celebration for Mum in their staff room to little things like providing us with morning and afternoon tea when we visit, nothing is too much of a problem.

It gives the whole family a great sense of comfort to know that mum is in great hands with the staff and carers at Te Hopai.

I wouldn’t have survived without Te Hopai. (Audrey’s husband was at Te Hopai until he passed. She now comes to Te Hopai to support our knitting group.)

Thank you for what you did for me personally and the extra support staff took it upon themselves to provide the night Dad died and the next day.

Thanks for allowing me to stay with Dad (at Te Hopai) in November and again for three nights in January. These opportunities were very special to me. The staff overnight were very caring to Dad and to those of us with him. The male nurse was amazing in his concern and attentiveness. Another staff member took a torch into the garden in the rain to pick a gorgeous bunch of flowers to place on Dad shortly after he passed. This was so thoughtful and responsive to our needs.

For me this makes Te Hopai a very very special environment. All staff treat residents with respect - using their names, getting down to their level when speaking to them and informing them when they are going to shift the chair or doing anything that may potentially surprise or upset the person. They (staff) are non-judgemental, ensure individual cultural and preference needs are met and tolerant of idiosyncratic behaviours. Staff are bright and cherry in their interactions which make the communal spaces such nice places to be.

Just wanted to say how pleased we were with Te Hopai. We were very pleased with everything you (Pakize Sari) did and appreciate all your help with Margaret.

Thank you to all staff – Doctors, Nurses, Carers for making my Mum’s last days as comfortable, enjoyable and painless as possible. Both Doctors and Nurses were always honest and up front with me in keeping me informed of Mum’s condition and the measures they had in place to assist Mum. I have nothing but praise and appreciation for the dedication and professionalism exhibited by your staff in providing care for my Mum.

Our heartfelt thanks to all staff at Te Hopai for your wonderful care of our Mother, Mother-in-law and Grandmother. From the first day of her stay in the (Kowhai) dementia Unit, we felt confident that she was in the best place possible. We were particularly impressed with the dedication of the staff, the respect shown at all times to Jo, and the empathy everyone shared with us.

Over the years, and especially after her move to the hospital wing, each visit to her bedside reinforced our impressions of the highest standards of professionalism displayed at Te Hopai.

Thanks for the update on Aunty and thank you for the excellent care and attention Te Hopai is offering her. Aunty is looking so good and she tells me she is extremely happy at Te Hopai. To our family that is obvious and we really do appreciate everything you are doing for her.

Your staff are so friendly and helpful and I have witnessed on many visits the extra things they do and go out of their way to satisfy Aunty’s needs. On my last visit I couldn’t help but notice the quality and quantity of food offered. It is indeed reassuring for peace of mind when on lives so far away to know Aunty is being so well cared for is so happy.

Our mother Thelma was not with you for long, less than a year. But during that time she made the transition from a person resistant to being in a rest home and losing some independence, to a person who recognised that her well being was better served at Te Hopai and who came to calm and comfortable and able to enjoy her interactions. Her old wit and humour that had been thinned out during her last few years came back to her once she was able to relax in to the care Lillian and her team provided.

We attribute this very much to the patient, professional, and kind nursing care and friendship that so many Te Hopai staff displayed.